Nothing like going to the dentist and getting your teeth whitened. You come out feeling like a whole new person. Or at least a person with a much whiter smile. Show that smile off. Let the whole world see those pearly whites as they eye you uneasily. “What’s wrong with this guy? Why is he smiling so much?”
But seriously, going to the dentist for a teeth whitening is a somewhat pleasant, but usually pretty boring time. If you have a great dentist, however, they’ll definitely have a Molar Media Mount, and you’ll be able to watch a movie while you get a shine put on those chompers. Here are a few you should consider watching.
It’s not for kids, but this Coen brothers’ film is darkly funny and a classic. And it’s, you know, set in Fargo, North Dakota, so there’s tons of snow around. Pristine, white snow… so white and clean… are you getting it yet? Yeah, you’re going to be thinking about that beautiful, white smile all day. As well as the scene with the bad guy running across a frozen lake. So white…
2. The Cleaner
A former cop who works as a crime scene cleaner accidentally becomes part of a cover-up during his latest job. For one thing, the name of the movie is The Cleaner. If that doesn’t put you in the mood to have your teeth whitened, then I just don’t know what would. Also, it stars Samuel L. Jackson, so you know you’re going to get an intense performance with some of his trademark yelling…er, acting.
An American couple meets some mysterious travellers on a train from China to Moscow. Because they’re travelling from China to Moscow, the backdrop outside the train is mostly… yeah it’s mostly snow. There are some trees, too. But that only heightens the tension and sense of isolation during the thrilling train ride. Your teeth will be as white as the endless tracts of snowy Russia.
4. Ice Age
This one is a kid’s movie, but actually pretty enjoyable for adults. At this point there are about eight sequels and spinoffs, so maybe get back to basics and watch the one that started it all. As the dentist whitens your teeth, you can look at the saber tooth tiger’s teeth to get a sense of how white and powerful your shiny new teeth will be.
Everything is sunny and great one day, and the next day New York City has been flooded and everything is frozen and white—an apt metaphor for your whitened teeth. Dennis Quaid is off to save his son, and Jake Gyllenhaal is just trying to hook up with the girl from his debate team. Pretty standard stuff.
If your dentist has the Molar Media Mount, you can watch one of these movies while you get your teeth whitened, mentally preparing yourself for the bright glare that will radiate off of your sparkling smile. Ask your dentist about it next time you go in for an appointment!